Top 10 Signs You're a MOM
(And not as cool a one as you might think)
(And not as cool a one as you might think)
10 . Promise your children that you really did pass elementary math after asking them how to add fractions again, just to "refresh" your memory, of course
9. Shock your children when they learn that the Full House twins are now grown women with even more grown-up boyfriends
8. Take 90 minutes to get through a 30 minute program saved on your DVR, after pausing to settle a fight, wipe a butt, unlock another T.V. show from parental controls, or pour a drink (sometimes two)
7. Have an innate ability to keep eating in between throw-up talk and those same butt wipes above
(meanwhile your husband's put his fork down)
6. Often hear someone call out for “Mom” then look around to find another child or worse, hear it when nobody’s around
5. Wake up in the morning unsure of the day of the week, then piece together the events from the day before just to find your bearings
4. Detach the sole from the straps on your plastic flip flop after adhering to a sticky spot
on the kitchen floor
3. Realize how tame Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” was in the 80s before introducing the concept of auto-tune to your children and telling them how Selena Gomez
really can’t sing
9. Shock your children when they learn that the Full House twins are now grown women with even more grown-up boyfriends
8. Take 90 minutes to get through a 30 minute program saved on your DVR, after pausing to settle a fight, wipe a butt, unlock another T.V. show from parental controls, or pour a drink (sometimes two)
7. Have an innate ability to keep eating in between throw-up talk and those same butt wipes above
(meanwhile your husband's put his fork down)
6. Often hear someone call out for “Mom” then look around to find another child or worse, hear it when nobody’s around
5. Wake up in the morning unsure of the day of the week, then piece together the events from the day before just to find your bearings
4. Detach the sole from the straps on your plastic flip flop after adhering to a sticky spot
on the kitchen floor
3. Realize how tame Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” was in the 80s before introducing the concept of auto-tune to your children and telling them how Selena Gomez
really can’t sing
2. Explain to your daughters that high waisted jeans were unflattering back then and still are today
1. Think YOLO is for the young and reckless, but at least you’re able to explain to the grandparents that LOL isn’t lots of love
1. Think YOLO is for the young and reckless, but at least you’re able to explain to the grandparents that LOL isn’t lots of love
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